


When in Doubt, Pretend It's In the Lesson Plan

by iLikeBeouf



Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Awkward Boners, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Gym Teacher Noi, History Teacher Shin, Horniness, Jealousy, Noi's Legs for Days, Shin is emotionally constipated, Slow Burn, Suspenders, The Brown Jacket, elbow patches, thirst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27961595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iLikeBeouf/pseuds/iLikeBeouf
Summary: The apple remained on his desk: round, shiny, and pink.It almost seemed like a taunt. Sitting there. All flawless and tasty looking. While he was here. Hungry.
Relationships: Nikaido & Noi (Dorohedoro), Noi/Shin (Dorohedoro), Shin & Nikaido (Dorohedoro)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 47





	1. Apple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Medegela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medegela/gifts).



> So much thanks to medegela for conceiving the Teacher AU and PSYLKII for being an amazing beta reader <3
> 
> I had told myself I would never have the time to write this and bring it to fruition, and yet ... here I am ... setting aside all responsibilities to simp for my giant coworker OTP. That's what they do to my single, rapidly spinning horny shinnoi brain cell.
> 
> Also thanks to Sasha who is not on ao3 but helpfully provided me with loads of reference to the realities of teaching in a public high school and teacher mentorship programs in the middle east coast of the United States, which is roughly what this school system is based on, because it's what I'm familiar with. Mad respect to teachers, you're very powerful and sexy.
> 
> I did want to retain a bit of the source culture, such as Shin referring to En as En-san, mostly because Mr. En grates on my ears and because to a certain point it does feel like a correct flavor. There's not a hard science to it.
> 
> I have a whole Twitter dedicated to Dorohedoro nonsense, find me at @i_love_beouf and drop me a line if you wanna talk headcanons or just scream into the void about a completed series that ended in 2018 after 18 years of publication with me. (I also have a shinnoi hentai doujinshi in progress there, it's a little slow going but it's alive). Illustrations by myself.

End of year mornings were brisk and the days were short. The end of the semester loomed on the horizon, followed by the promise of holiday break that Shin told himself was the time to finally chew his way through his reading list (which never ended: new books were added as soon as the last finished). It was so close he could taste it. But before that, the hurdle of finals. 

For a highschool history teacher that meant a gauntlet of hormonal teens suddenly realizing their grades were in serious jeopardy and all the ensuing chaos. The scrambling for extra credit, the begging for more time to complete missing assignments, even the occasional grade dispute. It was the same every year. Mr. Shin, seasoned history teacher, knew what to expect from all that.

Shin, the grown adult man, was not prepared for what would hit him that morning on a personal level. To be fair nothing really would have been up for that job.

He had his routine. 

Arrive at school before the buses, not too early or late. Eat breakfast in his classroom fifteen minutes before first period, just enough time to center himself before the hellions rolled in. Today he had been delayed, just one small thing after another that added up to him getting stuck behind the bus caravan. The agonizingly slow crawl to enter the parking lot, the way his old car still hadn’t heated up to a comfortable temperature, the janky thermos he grabbed that day with the leaky lid that dripped coffee onto his pants… it was adding up to an early tension headache. On top of it all, there was an ominous feeling that the worst of the day had yet to come.

The other shoe dropped as Shin attempted to maneuver his way into the building with a small mountain of printed essays in arm, lunch balanced precariously on top. He would have to hurry to be ahead of the bell now.

“Hey, do you have a sec?”

_Obviously not._ “Nope. Little busy at the moment.” The stupid door wouldn’t open, and he couldn’t see over his mound of paperwork to finesse it.

The unknown voice over his shoulder continued like they hadn’t heard him. “I need to find the office--”

Shin finally managed to jimmy the sticky (Why was it sticky? Why are children sticky??) door ajar and maneuvered his way inside with some difficulty. He was late, he was freezing his ass off, and without looking he could sense the person behind him continued to trail him at an annoyingly close distance with no sign of leaving. His irritation flared without warning and he turned on his heel.

“I do NOT--” There was... not a face where he was expecting there to be a face. 

He was used to being something of a giant, standing a foot taller than most of his colleagues, and had assumed to address his pest accordingly. But no. There was just leather. A well-loved black jacket stretched tightly over a very broad chest, the zipper looking like it deserved a medal for effort. He wouldn’t mentally comment further on that, quickly adjusting his sight up past solid shoulders and the top of a bulky hoodie spilling out the jacket’s collar, finally meeting his own reflection in the visor of a motorcycle helmet. Craning his neck up for a change, Shin suddenly realized how other people must feel talking to him.

“...have time for you. I’m running late,” he finished lamely. 

Wordlessly the stranger stretched an arm over his shoulder (he did _not_ internally panic for a second, he was just not used to anyone doing that), but they just pushed the stubborn door behind him open with ease. Before he knew it half of his paper stack was taken away from him and he dumbly watched as their other gloved hand removed their helmet in the warm fluorescence of the teachers’ wing.

“Oh! Sorry to bother you then. Want me to carry this for you?” asked the giant woman in front of him. On one shoulder sat an enormous sports duffle. Piece by piece, fluffy locks of hair stood askew from her ponytail like a flower blooming around her face. Leather, elastic - everything about her seemed to strain against its limitations. This was … 

…

..not what he was expecting under there.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the program responsible for executing conversation pinwheeled furiously. Calculating whether he could salvage the conversation with his suddenly very dry mouth. Dry from caffeine. He was definitely dehydrated.

Shin was now very aware of the rest of himself physically, how he had been standing there silent but maintaining eye contact, his mouth closed but jaw muscles working themselves to no avail. His chest feels weird.

Salvation comes in the form of the first period bell. 

Fuck! 

The bell!!

“Shit!” Now operating on instinct Shin snatches his homework mountain back from the stranger’s hand. His janky thermos, still sitting innocently on top next to his bento, sees a prime opportunity to fall over, pop its lid off and explode warm coffee all over the woman’s riding gear. “FUCK!” 

“HEY-” She yelps more in surprise than any pain, but Shin’s already calling an apology over his shoulder, jogging out of the teachers’ wing to administer his first period test. Little droplets of coffee trail behind him from the now-empty travel mug all the way down the hall. 

If he starts a test late it’ll be prime fodder for students looking for any excuse to curve their grade before finals. That’s what he tells himself. 

***

Shin’s face is hot and he’s aware of his pulse roaring in his ears when he arrives at his classroom. In vain, he tries to focus on calming his nerves before entering.

His chest is tight. It feels different to the hunger nagging him when he had left his house. On top of feeling bad about the debacle he had definitely just caused, he realizes as he opens the door that he wouldn’t have any coffee or food until lunch.

_Fuck it all_ , he thinks, dunking his stupid lidless travel mug into the trash with sincere loathing.

***

When it rains, it pours. 

He thought the other shoe had dropped earlier, but no, it seems this is not a pair of shoes but a dump truckload of them. And they are falling everywhere. 

“Shin. I have a job for you.”

Shin had just settled into what he thought was his perfect hiding spot (his own desk in his classroom, where he always took lunch, he was just in denial over how well other people knew his routine). His bento box was out, book open to a new chapter. In short, an ideal lunch to recharge before the last few periods of the day. His jacket was even off, sleeves rolled up. He was one lobster bib short of looking like a cartoon man about to chow down.

So much for that. 

His boss, no matter Shin’s privately held thoughts on En’s personal taste, was not to be trifled with. Especially when the principal went out of his way to make an unannounced drop-in. And so Shin respectfully closed his bento and oh-so-enticing book, mentally preparing for the worst. 

“You’ve gotten complacent,” En continued. “So I’m giving you some responsibility to ensure you’re adequately challenged.” 

_Adequately challenged?_ What kind of bullshit was that? Shin’s composure fractured a little. “En-san, has my performance been lacking? What about my evaluations?” He knew for a fact that he got results. His syllabus was air-tight but he offered a fair amount of extra credit, which made it hard for even the hoveriest of helicopter parents to argue with. That and his physical demeanor, which he also knew took the wind out of sails before they even had time to get going.

“That’s all fine and you know it,” Principal En dismissed. “But you coach no sports, sponsor no clubs, are involved in zero extracurricular activities.”

_Because all of that is a stupid waste of time and I’m not here to make friends_ , Shin’s brain supplied unhelpfully. His mouth wisely remained shut.

“All that is about to change. You’ve been here four years already: I’m assigning you a teaching mentorship. Congratulations, Mr. Shin, you’re a senpai.”

“ _Eh_?!!” Oh. No. That had definitely come out of Shin’s mouth and not stayed in his brain.

“Yes. The new physical education teacher.”

“Gym???” He was spluttering. He couldn’t stop. “I’m a history teacher- What do I know about P.E.? The semester is almost over? And how much teaching could that even involve?!” A sudden sharp look from En cut him off.

“ _Yes_. Gym. Gym because there are no new history teachers for you to mentor. Gym because the previous gym teacher was involved in some unsavory mob activities and entered witness protection sometime in the last week and is now unavailable. _Gym_ ,” En continued, his voice somehow growing increasingly weaponized despite a consistency in volume and cadence, “Because physical education does involve ‘real’ grading, organization and tests. So yes, this teacher will need the benefit of your guidance and expertise. And because she so kindly agreed to take this unforeseen vacant position mere weeks before finals, she will need all the help she can get. Not only are you equipped to handle this, you’re the only teacher who can because you won’t deign to busy yourself with school activities.”

...Suffice to say Shin was thoroughly chastened.

A snort from the doorway caught their attention.

“Ah, right on time. Come in.”

The newcomer was so tall she had to duck lightly through the doorway to enter. 

To Shin’s surprise, he recognized her, though her hoodie lacked the moto jacket on top now. Silver baby hairs escaped a neat bun, wildly framing arched brows and striking red eyes. This time, though, there was an imperious set to her eyebrows, and mischief played somewhere under the surface of fine, patrician features. Her gaze earnestly swept him up and down in turn, though her face telegraphed no judgments one way or the other.

Something in Shin’s chest leapt into his throat.

“Noi, this is Mr. Shin. He is your new mentor so listen to him. He will guide you using every tool in his arsenal. I have every faith he will lead you both to success.” Unnervingly, the latter parts of that statement were made in unflinching eye contact with Shin. 

“Take good care of me, senpai!” said Noi cheerfully. From behind her back she revealed an apple, placing it politely on his desk.

Such a childish, simple gesture combined with the sincere smile on her face should have been at odds with her large frame and more than a little suspicious. Shin wanted to be suspicious. For a second he debated the chances of her poisoning the apple because of this morning’s incident. But the more he examined her open expression, the more he realized it was too uncanny to be a joke. 

Looking into her eyes and finding no trace of guile, Shin resolved that this might be an arrangement he could work to accept.

And then he had to look away, remembering to grunt some kind of vocalization that passed as acknowledging their introduction. Inexplicably he felt like it would be weird if he looked too long. Feeling bad that he spilled a full mug of hot coffee on her was making him self-conscious, he told himself. 

That was definitely the source of this amorphous guilty feeling, the sweat forming on his skin unbidden. That and nothing else.

En took a moment to explain that normally mentorship would involve meeting twice a week minimum, but since Shin would essentially be helping Noi master her curriculum and conduct finals on top of his own, they would more or less be attached at the hip through the end of the year. Today was Noi’s orientation while a sub covered the classes she would begin tomorrow. With that, En and Miss Noi took their leave. 

The apple remained on his desk: round, shiny, and pink. 

It almost seemed like a taunt. Sitting there. All flawless and tasty looking. While he was here. Hungry.

For a long moment Shin did nothing but regard it back, idly thumbing his suspender straps. His lunchtime was totally shot. Hell, his _year_ was totally shot.

Then without warning, he snatched the apple and sank his teeth in. 

While working his way through the apple (crisp and juicy as advertised by its exterior), his phone buzzed. A new teacher, who he also happened to know growing up in their old neighborhood across town. 

Nikaido: Is it true??

Nikaido: i heard you’re mentoring En’s cousin 😲🤣🤣

“ _Cousin_???” he choked out, and that tasty, juicy piece of apple promptly lodged itself right into his windpipe. 

***

**

*

**What we learned:**  
Shin doesn't like his routine interrupted.  
Gym teaching is more academically rigorous than would be expected.  
An apple is still a good gift for a teacher.  



	2. Leash

The next morning Shin wakes up earlier than usual. He always takes Gura on a long morning run before work - since he would be away all day, GuraGura had to be completely tired out (lest he destroy the apartment). (Again). 

The mile to the school track, around a few times and back averaged a tame three miles on school days. He definitely enjoyed the exercise more than Gura - on the weekends Shin would take the opportunity to do longer solo runs while the dog lounged at home.

The school track was nice and predictable. It was always him and the same smattering of senior citizens getting their crack-of-dawn power walk in. (He and the seniors are well acquainted by now. And they all apparently have granddaughters or grandsons they are convinced would be a perfect match for a nice young man like him). Their dedication to fitness was an honest inspiration. The oldest lady had to be at least 100, bundled up every fall day like a 4ft tall Michelin Man with Sketchers Shape-ups poking out underneath. 

It’s still dark as they set out, puffs of frosted breath trailing in their wake. After all these years running the same route, GuraGura still had no concept of pace. The first mile he always pulled hopelessly at the leash, and every final mile Shin was practically dragging him home like so much flotsam. 

Shin contemplated the day that lay ahead. For the first time in a long time he was unsure of what to expect, and it didn’t sit right with him. Today would be his first with … A mentee? A person who he ... mented? Shin was too drowsy to remember. But it was likely the reason he was up before the alarm.

Well, that or what happened yesterday.

It was moments like this he wished he listened to music when he worked out, so he could switch the song in the hopes of jostling his thoughts away from the current track they were on. But he didn’t, and so against his will the memory replayed in his mind’s eye.

***

Shin thought it would be easier to notice if he was literally choking. His brain filed it as a secondary concern to the surprise knowledge Nikaido had so casually dropped via text of all things. He absentmindedly tried clearing his throat as he worked to process the information.

It wasn’t until he went to take a breath after his shock wore off that he realized it wasn’t coming. _The fucking apple._

It took about a minute for Noi to wander back to his room with the idea to exchange phone numbers with him, only to find her new senpai blue in the face and frantically pounding his own chest. 

As it turns out, physical education teachers are required to have a working knowledge of sports medicine and basic first aid. Including the heimlich maneuver. 

Shin could clearly recall everything about this. His brain was probably just absorbing every piece of information it could in what it thought were his final moments. He had no idea how she crossed the room so fast but the feeling of Noi's arms snaking around him, her hips and stomach warm and solid pressing against his back, those sensations were still very accessible. Shin vaguely tried to remember the last time someone had held him like that, but couldn't recall. He may have been distracted by her fists suddenly shooting up into his diaphragm like a freight train.

Noi was **really** strong.

Hocking out an apple chunk like some kind of fucked up Snow White wasn't the embarrassing part though. His body basically let every other function besides breathing fall by the wayside as he drank in sweet air again. His knees buckled in relief, heart pounding triple time to rush oxygen back to his organs. Noi yelped a little as he slumped but didn't let him fall - in fact, she didn't really seem to be exerting herself too much to support him. And he was not a light dude, no one had been able to hold him up like _this_ since he was a scrawny teenager.

“HANKY-PANKY!”

Oh no.

Like a horror movie, even though he was afraid of what he would see, Shin looked.

_Ebisu._

In the doorway stood his loudest student, a scrawny freshman in the school’s mascot uniform (which she wore all day on game days. It was not required but also technically not _not_ allowed.) One fin pointed at them like an accusation, glee written all over her face as she witnessed her red-faced, panting history teacher in the arms of a strange woman.

Shin was about to open his mouth and protest but the damage was done.

Ebisu was off like a shot. Echoing off the halls, her public announcement like the town crier:

“MR. SHIN’S GETTING HIS TITS FONDLED!”

It continued echoing like that down the hallway until she was out of earshot. 

God.

Dammit.

Noi left his classroom with his phone number and the life debt he owed her. He kept the second part to himself, though. Mentally repressing what Ebisu said took up so much bandwidth he couldn’t look at her, let alone talk.

It didn’t take long for his phone to buzz - several times in succession, actually.

Unknown Number: Senpai, it’s me! (•̀ᴗ•́)൬༉ Noi!  
Unknown Number: I’m gnna check out my new office  
Unknown Number: so u know where to find me if you’re choking again  
Unknown Number: ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ))) 

Shin: ok.

Shin snorted and hit send. While saving Noi’s number in his contacts, a new message came in.

Nikaido: WHO FONDLED YR TITS  
Nikaido: WAS IT THE COUSIN  
Nikaido: omg does she look like en???

Shin: that’s bait. Nice try though.

Nikaido: wait. Shin.  
Nikaido: shin is she hot???  
Nikaido: SHIN  
Nikaido: ANSWER ME

***

Idly rubbing the purple bruise that had bloomed over his belly overnight, the sun is just peeking over the horizon as they arrive at the track. GuraGura doesn’t mind the cold too much, but Shin thinks in a few weeks it might be time to put a sweater on him in the mornings. At the very least the dog booties would come out of storage for the cold asphalt.

It’s the normal crowd today.

Well, except for some unknown meathead wearing shorts and a tee over their tracksuit in the corner of the field exercising more vigorously than the rest. Shin sees that they haven’t stopped doing burpees since he arrived. Sometimes newcomers made their way here and lingered for a few weeks before realizing they actually hated exercising.

Running around the track has the benefit of being much easier on the knees, astroturf being springier than concrete. Rapidly approaching thirty had Shin thinking more and more about these things, much to his chagrin. He used to joke his old man about this stuff all the time but found himself repeating the same sentiments genuinely as the years went on. At this point he was coming to grips with his slow metamorphosis into a carbon copy of his dad. The old man was still kicking around fine, so he figured there were worse fates.

Shin made a mental note to call his dad later. When your parent lives just a town over it’s easy to take that convenience for granted. Aside from knowing they would spend the holidays together as usual, they had yet to solidify any plans. The rapidly approaching footsteps behind him didn’t register until they were so loud they were almost upon him. 

“SEN-PAIIIIII~” The thunderous call manifests right behind his ear and causes him to break his stride, almost tripping over himself in surprise.

“AHh- Noi?! --AH!” Shin hadn’t been the only one surprised. GuraGura’s leash was yanked from his slack grasp and the rascal wasted absolutely no time bolting in a random direction, barking in excitement for reasons known only to him. 

Noi reacts faster, regaining her lost momentum on instinct. She’s after Gura like a shot, and when the black dog disappears behind the tree line at the end of the field she isn't far behind.

Still half-asleep and attempting to process what’s happening, Shin belatedly chases, realizing and he draws near that he can hear nothing from the thick copse of trees but forest sounds and his own breathing. They weren’t in sight either.

“GuraGura?”

“...GURAGURA?”

“NOI???”

Just as the realization that something could be wrong dawns on him (followed quickly by the sickening thought that he would have to explain it to En), loud confident footsteps approach on the leaves. Only one set of footsteps.

From the shadows the bulky, shapeless form of Noi’s tracksuit emerges. Shin realizes why there is only one set of crunchy steps. 

GuraGura is not a small dog, but slung on Noi’s shoulders he looks like a black lamb, two legs held loosely in each hand. Gura’s tongue is lolled out happily. He’s having the time of his life, oblivious to any trouble he may have caused his master. So at least that was normal.

Noi on the other hand looks guilty, scratching her cheek bashfully with an index finger as she peers at him from under her baseball cap. “Sorry, senpai… I shouldn’t have startled you like that! Is this your dog?”

Shin can only huff a sigh of relief, reaching up to scratch a pointy black ear. “Yeah, he’s mine. Are you okay?”

As they exit the thicket, the steadily growing sun beams against everything - her silver hair, her clear skin, the neat pearly teeth in the smile she flashes him. He has to look away. Because of how bright the sun is.

“We’re fine,” Noi continues. “This one here saw a squirrel and tried to jump off a cliff!”

“The one where the creek is?! GuraGura…”

Nearing the track once more, his mangy (but lovable) mutt is returned to the ground, leash back in its rightful place in his hand. Shin thinks he can feel her body heat through her glove when she passes it to him. 

On his end, Gura seems to be having a blast. He dances and jumps around Noi’s legs, fussing like the brat he is until she crouches down and gives him the attention he oh-so-craves. He’s practically choking himself on his leash to get a single millimeter closer to Noi, so Shin moves closer too, giving it slack until Gura is fully on his back on the astroturf, belly conveniently in prime scratching position. Noi seems to know her duty, scratching him so enthusiastically that she has Gura’s back leg kicking in no time. His dog, normally pretty apathetic toward other people, seems to have fallen open for her like a book.

“GuraGura? What kind of name is that?”

Joining Noi on the ground, Shin can’t help but give a crooked smile at the memory. “I found him as a puppy. He was wandering the streets, mangy, disease-ridden, full of worms… He didn’t stop shaking the first two weeks I had him. Guess the name kind of stuck.”

Noi redoubled her efforts much to Gura’s delight, ruffling his neck fat and bunching his cheeks. “Oh no! You were trash! You were just a trash baby and now you’re a well fed big boy!” She had no embarrassment about declaring this publicly.

The snort from Shin’s nose was involuntary. “No, he’s definitely still a big baby.”

On the ground, Gura pathetically wormed his way into Noi’s lap, front paws limply folded in front of him, long tongue lolling out.

 _Smug bastard._ The thought was an unwelcome intrusion and Shin abruptly rose to derail that train of thought before it made any more stops. Sure it was a brisk fall day, but that sun was really warming his face up this morning. 

“We’d better get going, Noi. Gotta get home and shower.”

“Oh, do you shower at home? You could probably do it here, apparently no one uses the locker rooms in the morning.” She gently deposited the dog on the ground before standing herself, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“I’ve thought about it to save myself a trip… but I haven’t been able to make the schedule work with taking GuraGura home.”

“That makes sense - Well!” Noi smacked the meat of one fist into the open palm of another like she had a grand idea, even though it was belied by a goofy grin. “Since he’s your big baby, maybe En should open a doggy daycare at the school like the one for staff toddlers across the way!” 

Shin was already turning away to hide the smile ghosting his face. “Might have to frame it as a daycare facility for his weird cat.”

“Kikurage?! As if that loser ever lets her out of his sight!”

And with that they parted, both of them biting down a good chuckle.

Every so often, GuraGura would look back at the retreating form of Noi and whine, until she disappeared into the locker room entrance, presumably to take her own shower before school. Not that he was watching. He just happened to notice.

“Don’t worry, boy. You’ll probably see her soon… if you’re lucky.”

GuraGura looked up at him with unknowing, uncomprehending eyes. He was, after all, only a dog.

***

**

*

**What we learned:**

Shin uses periods in his texts.  
GuraGura wears doggy shoes in the winter.  
Noi can hold Shin up by his tits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the universe I use to satisfy my own need for catharsis and my faves to be happy. I’m also noticing, in Doro fashion, my plot seems to be just internal monologues about everyday life, abrupt chaos, and back to regular life. 
> 
> And remember… when you looked in the sand and saw only one set of footprints, it is because Noi carried you ♥


	3. Donuts

_Knock, knock._

Shin has never been to this part of the school before. He had agreed over text to meet Noi in her office ahead of first period and make sure she was situated, but before yesterday it had never occurred to him that gym teachers actually had an office at all. The nurse had to direct him to it: a door he had thought was a closet wedged down its own little hallway, between the nurse’s office and the gymnasium itself. 

No one answers.

He knocks again a little louder. This time a muffled voice makes its way through the door to him. 

Shin takes it as a sign to enter.

He freezes, hand on the door. There’s… Hips. And an ass bent over in front of him. Over which is stretched the woven fabric of a skirt.

“OH, I’m sorry to intrude - I thought this was -” Shin tears his eyes away, instinctively turning around as if he’s witnessed something dirty. His heart is in his throat. He’s pretty sure this person is only looking for something on a bottom shelf though. So the only thing dirty here is his reaction.

“Senpai! Perfect timing! I’m at my wit’s end here...”

Shin thinks his eyes might bug out of his head when he turns around and sees Noi looking over her shoulder at him from her knees on the floor. After a second he realizes he’s still standing there with his hand on the doorknob, and closes it behind him.

This office is pretty small.

“Noi… Your outfit?-- I mean. What… are you doing down there?”

“Oh, this?” Noi looks down nonchalantly, maneuvering into a standing position in the cramped room. “I didn’t want to embarrass you on my first day… But this is just my normal workwear, I didn’t have anything special on hand.” Shin’s eyes follow her hands as she smooths down her front, desperately trying to ignore the bolt of heat shooting down the pit of his stomach. It’s a perfectly professional skirt suit, grey and crisp. It’s a far cry from the formless sweatsuits he’s seen her in so far that completely disguised her shape- its length and cut are appropriate for a teacher, and sheer tights cover her legs where they emerge from her skirt, all the way down to sensible flat work shoes. She looks comfortable in it, too. The ease of someone who has no problem with their position. 

The thing is, the feeling that he’s witnessing something dirty doesn’t go away. He tells himself they are just clothes someone wears to work, and they only look like this because they are on a shapely body. Much more shapely than he would have ever suspected. If they were on someone else he wouldn’t be having this mental conversation. It isn’t Noi’s fault the clothes contoured to her figure like they’ve been professionally tailored. It isn’t Noi’s fault she has shapely legs that look good in tights, that he tries to divert his brain from conjuring images of how those stockings look stretched over her knees and thighs higher up. He was the only one in the wrong here. And he was finding new things out about himself this morning he had never expected.

Suddenly: donuts. 

Noi was holding a box of fresh donuts under his nose. “Today’s a classroom-only day, I can’t find the syllabus and grade books for Driver’s Ed, and I don’t think the lady before me had an organizational system?” Noi had been talking this whole time, and continues as she takes a donut from her proffered box, somehow talking around half of it shoved completely in her mouth. She plops down heavily in a rickety office chair, gesturing for him to take the only other available one nearby. 

“Plus I think this office is 50% old documents, 50% broken gym equipment, and 50% balls. So it’s 150% full.”

“No, don’t forget that we’re in here. We’re at least another 50%.” Their legs are both so long their knees are squashed together. Shin is already working on his third donut.

“You’re right. 200% full then.” Noi takes a vicious bite of bavarian cream, a little smearing onto the corner of her mouth that she doesn’t seem to notice.

Shin props one ankle on his knee, trying (in vain) to find a way to lessen their contact, but also attempting to hide the semi-developed situation in the front of his trousers he had been fighting since he entered. He hopes if he keeps eating donuts it will calm down.

He feels like he should say something. Should he give her a pep talk? “Noi…”

A vision of En flashes in his mind’s eye. _’He will guide you using every tool in his arsenal. I have every faith he will lead you both to success.’_

He reminds himself he is her senpai. Even if he had to pull some confidence out of his own ass, he would do it. Plus, thinking of En was a sure way to kill even the most persistent boner.

“You’ll do fine today. We’re gonna find some old videos they play when substitute teachers come in. Those will buy us time until we find the lesson plans, and then we’ll meet at lunch and after school until every detail is hammered out. This is nothing you can’t handle.” Shin scarfed down the last bite of glazed dough in his hand, chancing a peek over.

Noi stared back at him with one finger in her mouth, having stopped midway between licking the icing off to listen to him. There was a beat before she smiled, looking absolutely inspired. “Senpai, you’re right! We’ve got this!”

She went in for a high-five that he returned reflexively, the smack of their donut-sticky hands resounding loudly in the tiny closet. It felt like a natural gesture, like they had done it for years. Noi looked reassured, and Shin secretly felt good that he had been able to do that for her. 

As they rose to coordinate their search in the remaining half-hour before school started, it occurred to him that she had high-fived him with her freshly licked fingers, and that he had gotten some of his own sugary glaze on her hand in turn. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her bend over to resume her cabinet file search, absently licking his glaze off a long finger.

Shin turned away under the guise of scouring another shelf for the missing grade book. Only then, with his back facing her and hearing the shuffling of paper behind him, did he dare raise his own hand to his mouth and take a taste of sugar.

***

As promised, they met again for lunch in his classroom. They had managed to unearth the grade book, which lay inexplicably under a pile of stinky flag football harnesses. The lesson plans for half of her classes had also made an appearance, but parsing out the organization and handwriting felt like an Indiana Jones-worthy task. 

They were in Shin’s classroom, bentos arranged on the table around the lesson plans that somehow resembled hieroglyphics more than modern handwriting. Noi had pulled up a student's chair that was the wrong size for his desk, so her knees were practically up to her chin, and she was situated much lower to his seat height. 

Floating comically into his view between a pair of chopsticks, a fried chicken drumstick wiggled before him. 

“That looks good. Wanna trade?” Noi's knees bumped his leg as she hungrily eyed his spam musubi from below. He mentally made a note to get her a proper chair. 

Wordlessly, Shin accepted the chicken and she wasted no time transporting a musubi directly to her mouth. He also tried a bite of the drumstick, the skin crackling immediately. The fried chicken was ... really fatty. And good!

“Noi. Did you make this?” 

“Yeah! I make it all the time! Did someone make this for you??” she asked through full cheeks, looking thoroughly curious.

“No, it’s just me at home so if I don’t cook, I have to eat out. Which gets expensive after awhile.”

Noi seemed to process this thoughtfully for a second even as she demolished the rest of the spam and rice. “Senpai, I have an idea - I’m making katsu don tonight, I can bring some to share tomorrow if you want!”

Shin could only stare back, feeling embarrassed for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint for the umpteenth time in the last few days. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had been excited for him to eat their cooking. Probably his dad. 

_She’s your junior,_ he told himself. _This is normal coworker stuff._

“...I could bring some onigiri to trade,” he finally offered. 

“Deal!”

***

After school, Noi isn’t in her office. As Shin exits, halfway through constructing a text asking where she went, her voice floats out from the nurse’s office - followed by the sound of her laughing? Along with several other voices. 

Ebisu looks absolutely pathetic, sprawled on a patient table as Noi applies an ice pack to her head through the mouth of her shark costume. A student in a baseball uniform he recognizes as Fujita looks on, supervising with concern. Crowded behind Noi are Nikaido and the janitor Kaiman in catcher’s gear, both of whom volunteer as the school’s baseball coaches. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that there had been an incident during baseball practice. 

“Ah! Shin-senpai!” Noi turns and beams at him, as if she could sense his arrival even though he said nothing. “Sorry, the nurse is out so I’m filling in for a little bit until they’re back… This one here got a mild concussion.”

“Self-inflicted?” Ebisu was injured more than any other student he knew. She had amazingly bad luck that paired with her own impulsive behavior for horrific results.

“Wow! How did you know?” 

“Educated guess. Noi, is this … legal for you to be giving medical aid?”

Nikiado interjected, looking at him incredulously. “Shin! You didn’t know you have a registered nurse clinician under you?” Beside her, Kaiman judgmentally shakes his head back and forth, adding “Wow. Guess you really don’t know Noi that well at all…” Shin prickled at that, even if it was essentially true. Kaiman had a way of getting right under his skin and irritating him with absolutely no effort.

Shin’s vision narrows in on Nikaido’s hand that’s resting casually on Noi’s shoulder. Nikaido didn’t even know who she was yesterday. How were they suddenly friends? 

Nikaido continued. “Well we’ll remedy that! Noi already said she’s coming out with us on Friday to celebrate her new job here. We’re getting gyoza at my brother Asu’s. Care to join us, or are you staying home as usual?”

“If I feel like it,” he responds neutrally. Shin isn’t sure why he cares. After all, he doesn’t have a monopoly on Noi’s attention.

Noi only smiles humbly, scratching the back of her head. “Sorry, senpai. This might take awhile. Do you just want to meet early tomorrow?”

Shin agrees and excuses himself with little further comment - Nikaido and Kaiman bid Noi a more enthusiastic farewell and trail him out, walking abreast of him through the hallway without invitation. He can already sense the glee rolling off Nikaido in waves before she says anything.

“I could slap you upside the head,” she finally bursts once they’re out of earshot. “She’s hot as fuck. Why didn’t you say anything Shin???”

“I guess it didn’t occur to me that anything needed to be said.”

“I HAD TO FIND OUT BY ACCIDENT! I almost died! Did you see how big she is?” Nikiado continues, hands gripping the air in anguish as she walks alongside him. 

“Unlike some people, I don’t ogle my coworkers… HNNG-” He’s cut off by Kaiman ribbing him with his elbow and laughing, unaware of how forceful he’s being as usual.

“Okay, if you say so! Come out on Friday, though,” Nikaido continues.

“Noooo, stay home and stay away from my gyoza!” Kaiman protests, and then yelps when Nikaido punches him affectionately in the shoulder. As the two start bickering like an old married couple, Shin takes the opportunity to leave in peace.

“For real though! Friday! Come!” Nikaido calls down the hall, catching him as he exits. Shin just noncommittally waves a hand over his shoulder as the door shuts behind him.

***

He goes straight to the supermarket after leaving school. 

Standing in front of the butcher’s section of the deli, Shin wonders what kind of onigiri Noi would like best. 

Remembering that the only things she had mentioned cooking were meat, he goes with his intuition and buys some beef... Even though it isn’t on sale.

***

**

*

**What we learned:**  
Nikaido and Kaiman coach baseball.  
Shin makes his own bento because he's thrifty.  
_Helloooooooo_ , Nurse (Noi)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually ended up having so many plot points that I decided to break it up into two pieces instead of having just one massive block of text. I haven't written chapter 4 yet but it shouldn't be too long before release!  
> Dorohedoro, fanart, ao3 and the doro fan community have really gotten me through 2020. Thanks from the bottom of my heart and happy new year, everyone!


End file.
